#127 The Black Hole

I see myself sitting alone on the edge of a huge black hole. I know that I cannot survive being thrown into it again.
In there, I cannot touch the sides;
there is no beginning and no end;
it goes on forever.
So there, at the edge of the black hole, I split in two and abandoned myself.

The part that made her escape floated up to heaven where she could not see or hear or feel or remember....
or sometimes she just climbed into my head where she could fantasize about a place of safety....
and it was there that I learned to control time.
I could be outside time. She would shout, "it will be over soon!" I would project myself forward to a time when, it was indeed, all over!

Left behind, in the black hole, was little rylee. I left her alone, over and over, because I had been where she is now and I thought that I was going to die! I will do anything to avoid experiencing those feelings again. Including abandoning myself.

I will float away to heaven.
I will climb into my head and shut the door behind me.