#129 Incompetence!

People shouldn't be screwing around instead of doing their jobs! I want the trains to run on time all the time.
Incompetence! people who don't do their jobs make me crazy. I was never allowed to be incompetent, irresponsible, lazy, late, careless or forgetful. My life depended on it. My mother hated me if I was not getting it right!
I was never allowed to be wrong. Don't tell me that people are not perfect; that everyone makes mistakes. At 6 or 5 or 4 or 3 years old...even as a kid I wasn't allowed!
There has been a bomb ticking inside me for ever. A thousand times I have woken up in the morning and said: "Thank God - I put it off for one more day. The bomb didn't go off and I survived one more day.
I want to find that incompetent person and smash their head against the wall. They are putting us all in danger by being sloppy, careless and stupid! I want to kill them...I want to kill myself because I am so far from perfect. I want to kill my self because I never get it right. I smash my own head against the cement wall to drive out the danger.
I don't hear the bomb ticking anymore.