#134 My curse!

My curse is that I cannot forget!

I remember the hurtful things that people say
and all the unintentionally painful things
that people have said to me
FOREVER.

Even as I get older
and I cannot find my keyes
and I struggle to spell ordinary words,
my memory drags up
out of the depths of my mind
what someone said
or how they looked at me months or years ago.

Is it that
what was said is less important
than how it made me feel at the time?
Was I embarrassed?
Was I hurt?
Was I angry?

Is it possible
that my mind could have forgotten the words or looks
had my body not remembered the feelings?
So my memory retains the specifics:
the who. what, when, where
and forever wonders why?

Out of the Borderline Forest
comes this one punishing personality trait...

I cannot forget past injuries!

#133 FOREVER

There have been moments in my life that have become instantly sealed into concrete cells within my body. They crush everything around them.

I was scared, ashamed, abandoned, angry, selfish, or bullied. These feelings solidifed inside myself and apparently, they are forever.

#132 Blame Lifted.