All I know of my life is alternating dissociation and anxiety.
If I was not dissociated, I was anxious;
if I was not anxious, I was dissociated.
I could always switch from one to the other as needed.
Not so much these days.
I can't or won't operate the switch and I am stuck,
very uncomfortably, in a constant state of fearfulness.
Nearly every sight, sound, or thought makes me afraid.
I definitely do not want to waste any more of my life
disconnected from myself and others
but living with rising panic has become daily nightmare.
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