Friday, December 12, 2008

#85 Dissociation vs Anxiety




All I know of my life is alternating dissociation and anxiety.

If I was not dissociated, I was anxious;

if I was not anxious, I was dissociated.

I could always switch from one to the other as needed.


Not so much these days.

I can't or won't operate the switch and I am stuck,

very uncomfortably, in a constant state of fearfulness.

Nearly every sight, sound, or thought makes me afraid.


I definitely do not want to waste any more of my life

disconnected from myself and others

but living with rising panic has become daily nightmare.

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