#71 She Wants to Talk

When my therapist gave me her e-mail address back in August, I wrestled with what I would (allow myself) to write to her about. I realize, now, that I was deciding whether I would give "little Rylee” access. It did seem obvious, as it has all my life, that she would not be allowed to communicate and I was able to enforce that ban even on August 18th when she hurled herself out of her box.

All my life, when I have found myself on the edge, I have had to try to keep her inside until I got home, or at least until, I was alone. There was never a serious possibility that I would let her out into the world. Her feelings; her experiences were to be keep stored away, out of site.
She must not be seen or heard.

Without a doubt, she has taken over in therapy, on some occasions in the past. Even if I can’t quite remember the details, I know when she has been there. But she did it without my permission.
The reason I wrestled with the possibility of her communicating with my therapist back in August is because of how badly "little Rylee" wants to talk to her.
Now it is time to unlock the box.
She has finally found someone that she trusts.