#105 My First Big Mistake

You know how farm kids are discouraged from naming the animals so they won't grow attached to them...
and you know how we don't give names to our bad feelings in hope that they will just go away without disrupting our lives...
and you know how it is better not to name our mistakes...

Well, I was that mistake.

My parents had two daughters and then a son; the next year a stillborn son; and then another pregnancy...a replacement for the lost boy.

With months to go, I was named, Wayne Frank.
When the big day arrived, what should appear. Me! A Girl! I was a GIRL!
It was not what they ordered. It was not what they wanted. It was a colossal mistake.

Frequently, throughout my childhood, I would be reminded of this really, really serious error that I made on my very first day of life.
I was NOT-A-BOY.

So I was nameless for 10 days; no likelihood of attachment there; maybe it will just fade away if we ignore it; maybe if we don't name this mistake, it isn't ours.
One day my father met a little girl and asked her name. The borrowed name became mine...Rylee, the mistake.