#55 What is the Connection?

If suicide is murder delayed, what is self injury? We refuse to recognize that suicide is rooted in personal history because the perpetrator is long gone when the actual dying occurs.

If we can't make that connection, how do we connect the act of self injury to the long ago abuser of the child?

For the most part, my attacks have been against my arms and hands. But for the worst two years of my life, I swallowed a corrosive substance about 25 times. So I was burning my 'insides.'
I don't remember finding any logic in what I was doing. I do remember a near hysterical voice shouting, "You swallowed what?", but I had not felt so calm in quite a while, and I didn‘t see why they couldn‘t appreciate that. Unfortunately, the effect didn't last long, and I had to keep repeating the procedure, increasing the amount every time.

I think now that something was 'gaining' on me and this was my attempt to outrun it. But I don’t understand how the particular method I used connects to the original crime (or criminal.).

Nonetheless, each time I experience the pain;
I can float away and forget again.