It doesn't feel like I am getting better at this. I am getting better at keeping it to myself. My embarrassment keeps me from showing my hurt feelings these days and that is a good thing.
But I still feel invisible before certain people. I still feel judged and found not as good as other grown-ups. My thoughts, feelings and struggles are dismissed and I get upset about it. It seems that it is all my own fault! I am not trying hard enough! I never learned the basics! I have heard this and felt this, from others, and from inside myself, thousands of times.
I suppose my mother was the first one to dismiss my feelings and she was the first one to make me invisible, anonymous, insignificant!
Nothing new here!
I got my feelings hurt again today!
It still has the power to shame!
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