Sunday, June 22, 2008

#17 My Rope Is Too Short!

Everyone has days when they reach their limit. They know what it feels like to get to the breaking point. When you are at the end of your rope, you have used up all your resources.

One way that I know BPD, is how quickly and how often I get to the end of my rope. Worries pile up in my head; stresses build up in my body, and then BOOM! Suddenly, it is just all too much. I cannot handle it. I am so angry or depressed or frightened that it seems as though my body can’t contain it one minute longer. I must do something!

(My personal choice has always been to injure myself because, among other reasons, I don’t want to hurt anyone else. My mother mentioned “the end of her rope” quite frequently when I was a child but she had no qualms about who might get hurt when she arrived there.)

So, I have to try so, so very hard to recognize the warning signs because, apparently, I was issued with a rope that is just too short to do the job.

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